Digital TV? Pah...

I've resisted the whole digital / cable / satellite TV stuff for ages. But, with rubbish reception here and forthcoming arrival of babe number two, the idea of Channel 4 minus the diagonal stripes and CBeebies to keep O occupied whilst I faff about with small baby suddenly appealed.

So, I rather impulsively popped into a TV shop a few days ago (partly to escape truly torrential rain). Embarrassed, I asked the guy if he could explain how these new-fangled Freeview box things work. We then had a protracted conversation - well, not much was said by me actually, but anyway - about SCART cables and recording capability. I ended up buying the cheapest one in the shop and scuttled away.

Would it work? Would it heck. OK, so I plugged the SCART thing into the video instead of the TV (I'm sure that's what he told me to do). But even once I'd got some telephonic advice, it still didn't work. 'Ah, that sounds like a problem with your aerial,' I was assured. 'You might need an upgrade.' An upgrade? I thought the whole bloody point was that there was a 'one-off cost' and then the TV world was our oyster?

I think I'm going to send the bill for 'upgrading' to Downing Street.