Four weeks in...

It's Monday and O is at nursery all day - much as I love him, it's great to have some time to catch up on things. F is asleep on me in her trusty Baby Bjorn, the sun is shining and I've been invited to another mum's for lunch. Things are good.

But I feel anxious despite all the good stuff. As is my wont, I'm beginning to worry... Will Faye ever sleep in her own cot? Am I feeding her too often hence creating a snacking habit? How will I manage once I drop O's nursery days to two half mornings? How will I keep the house even vaguely tidy and clean? Reading this list, I seem to recall feeling very similar things about O. My instinct is telling me to go with the flow, do what feels right and sod the house. My middle class mumsy bit is saying 'But you have to keep the kitchen floor and the hob clean. Where will it end if you don't?'

I need to take a lesson in being rather than doing. This is something N talks about a lot and, whilst neither of us are necessarily very good at it, there is wisdom there. My children are going to be at school before I know where I am. I know how quickly time has gone with O and I can't believe F is one month old tomorrow already. We'll never get these days back and I get so cross with myself for focusing on the mundane rather than the wondrous.

This probably all sounds as though I'm being very hard on myself. Yes perhaps. But if I can listen to my own advice, it'll make for a happier me... Not that I'm unhappy - far from it. But I'm aware that there's more happiness to be had and that I hold the key to accessing it.

Hmm, bit serious for a Monday morning. Interesting what comes out when you haven't really thought about what to write before sitting down at the computer!