Knackered!

Rather ambitiously, we spent the weekend away from home! We drove to Exeter yesterday to stay with N's aunt. All went well until we hit about 10pm when O woke and started mumbling. Having said what a great sleeper he is, he then lost the plot and screeched for an hour or so! We eventually abandoned the travel cot option and brought him into bed with us. Hmmm, like that was going to work. He slept but neither N nor I did. By the time we decided to move him into the cot it was past midnight. He then woke at 6 in floods of tears! Hurrah for staying away from home.

Despite all that, we had a lovely time. The weather was gorgeous and we were cooked for last night which was a serious treat. I even drank a glass of red wine. Today we went to a beautiful village on the estuary near Exeter and had a fab pub lunch with an ex-colleague of mine and her lovely partner. How civilised! And we were home by six. Thumbs up to this west country lark.

Tomorrow is doula day - 3pm massage, 7.30pm birth plan. At least we're getting our money's worth. I can't believe we're less than a week from D-Day. It still seems so surreal to think we're going to go through it all again. Exciting too of course.

By the way, I did watch Judge John Deed on Friday night as predicted. It was quite good... and the Sainsbury's curry was just the job.

Just call me Gwyneth...

We've hired the doula we met! We're both really into the idea and like Ann a lot, but I have to admit to feeling that there is something faintly celeb about the whole thing... I feel as though it's the kind of thing Gwyneth would be into. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing of course. She is rather fab after all.

Ann has lots of weird and wonderful ideas about birth - from the baby's point of view too. She does massage, has trained in the Alexander Technique (posture darling), is half Danish and half Luxembourg-ish (what on earth are people from Luxembourg called?!) and is also a cranial-sacral therapist. I have to admit, I am not entirely sure what this means, but it's all about finding out about someone's emotional life via the shape of their head... and this is affected by birth... ooer.

The thing I'm finding great about having another person on board the baby train is that she's made us think about what we're hoping for, what we're scared of and what our rights are in terms of not having to be forced to be continually monitored etc etc. We simply haven't made the time for ourselves to focus on these things before now and it's been great. Ann's also from the 'natural is best' school of thought which is a good place to start. Having said that, she hasn't actually given birth herself! I think this is a good thing as she has all the magical images with none of the reality...!

In other news, O has at last got another tooth. Not the suspected molar, but a pointy incisor! Exciting eh? And we've got a 'Taste the Difference' curry special for supper - what could be better? I was going to settle down for Judge John Deed (sitting on the birthing ball, not slumped in the sofa of course) but after last week I'm not sure I can bear it. For those of you in the know, isn't Jo 'I'm a sanctimonious, irritating bat' Mills the most ridiculous character to appear on TV in years? As for Sir John himself, well. Good looking for his age, cute dog but what a t**t.

Sad truth is, I'll probably still watch it...

Stay where you are!

This baby is on the move - and in the wrong direction if you ask me. Having been in the same 'head down, back away from my back and down the left-hand side' (i.e. perfect) position for weeks on end, I am now getting a bottom (or is it a head) poking about on the right side of my tummy with little limbs of some sort down the bottom where the head's supposed to be! Bugger. Let's just hope the little one is playing about and will settle back down in the next few days. It was incredibly uncomfortable last night which doesn't bode well...

Plus we're meeting a doula tonight - the only one in Bristol who happens to be free for our due date! I hope we like her. But if it's a breech and an elective C-section, I'm not sure we'll be needing her services. Who knows... appointment with midwife on Friday should confirm where babe is lying now. I just want to meet this little person now, find out what kind of bits it has and get on with it. I am sick of being pregnant!

One incentive I have to get back to being a normal size again (if that's possible...) is a Boden order on its way. Pair of cords and a summer skirt, both size 12 and both lovely. I WILL be wearing them this summer. Boden to me is like Internet porn must be to some men - completely addictive! N often finds me poring over the sales pages late at night even though I've checked what's there dozens of times. In fact, I feel a session coming on now...

Before I indulge, an update on the making friends front. I am receiving a lady for tea tomorrow afternoon! She's from the antenatal class and also has a little boy already - she's a northerner with a great sense of humour and hopefully we can be new baby pals. Very sweetly, she's offered to step into the breach (or is that breech?) on the O front if I ever go into labour naturally!

More on doula, baby position (or lack of it) and new friends soon! And at some point, perhaps this blog may contain content which is of more intellectual interest to you discerning readers. Come to think of it, perhaps not. But I have just finished a great book - Hilary Mantel's Beyond Black which is a modern-day ghost story and brilliantly written. Funny and creepy at the same time.

All our glory...

Here we are. Well, me and Oliver at least. This one is not the most flattering picture of me you'll ever see (honest) but check out the girth!


The one of the two of us was taken this very evening and the other one of O is from Christmas day... he's clutching his present from his Granny and Grandpa (which I nearly ruined by not reading the instructions properly...)

Silence is golden...

...but perhaps not that golden when it comes to blogs! Can't believe a full week has almost passed without a post. Sorry chaps. I wish I had a good excuse, but other than being the size of a small abode and sleeping during any spare moments, I haven't.

I have been feeling a bit queasy for the last couple of days which hasn't helped. Don't think it's related to baby, but I admit to feeling slightly panicked on Friday night when I seemed to be having a lot of cramps. I am definitely not ready to pop just yet. I need a couple more weeks to get my head around it all!

N has taken O to the zoo this morning hence some free time to commune with the blog world. They are both so lovely that I sometimes wonder if bringing a new person into the mix is a good idea. I know O will cope (he'll have to!) but part of me feels a bit guilty about messing up his world which he does seem to enjoy so much. But who am I to judge his world? He may think it infinitely better with another small person around to prod and poke.

I'm sure these fears are all perfectly natural for a second-timer. As are the dreams about birth I've been having. As good old Dennis Norden says, it'll be alright on the night. One way or another this baby will be with us - God willing - in five weeks at the latest!

I suppose I'd better get dressed! Rather slovenly morning...

Praise the Lord...

One of our antenatal buddies has not only given birth to a beautiful baby boy but come out the other side of an extremely serious (and usually fatal) complication during birth. Needless to say, this has put the wind up everybody who knows and loves her. What her poor hubbie has been through in the last three days, I cannot imagine.

Her experience has also served as a reminder to me that this birthing business is not always straightforward. There remain real risks, despite all the amazing things obstetricians can do these days.

In the midst of a flurry of texts on Saturday with updates on our friend's condition, N and I visited the delivery suite at the hospital where - hopefully - we will meet our new baby. It was not the happiest of times to undertake the visit but all the staff we met were lovely and it felt good to see where the deed will take place.

I have to admit to a certain amount of grumpiness when we looked round the hospital's new birthing suite (as opposed to the delightfully named 'high-risk suite' where I will be taken... No soft lights and aromatherapy candles for me!) The rooms were really relaxed and had their own bathrooms and we were surrounded by misty-eyed first timers asking about bringing in their own music and cushions. Hindsight can be a wonderful thing, but not necessarily in this situation!

But we did feel reassured that even the rooms where we will be can be adapted as much as possible to feel a little less clinical. The good old monitor will be my constant companion and I'll have to have a drip thing inserted into my hand on arrival just in case. But other than that we should be able to make it home from home... My main concern now is, bizarrely, what to wear!!

On a non-birthing note (I hope you're not fed up of it all by now. I am...), this is my first proper non-working day with Oliver at nursery. Something of a treat. I got up at 9.30 and can't remember the last time that happened. And I'm going to watch a film this afternoon whilst polishing off the rest of the Quality Street. Hurrah.

Chocks away!

Appointment with the doc went well today. I was there for my 36 week 'VBAC' all clear - for the uninitiated, this means that I'm free to go for the full pain and sweating option which is natural childbirth! Whilst I am delighted about this, a small part of me does wonder whether a scheduled C-section (for medical reasons only of course) might not be easier... Seriously though, I am really relieved that we can try. It might not work out of course, but I'm keen to give it my best shot.

One bonus of all this extra attention is that they did an unexpected growth scan (whilst admitting that they're notoriously inaccurate!) which meant I got to have another peak at the baby. No boy or girl parts detected, so we're still in for a surprise (sorry Lizzie!). It was amazing to see the baby this late on - compared with the previous scan, he/she is a veritable giant. He/she is also incredibly adept at squirming - the midwife pointed out that four twists were made during the scan. That's nothing love - this one's a Houdini I think. At this point in time, the head is southward facing which is good news. But given the propensity for gymnastics, this could all change!

What else is happening chez nous? Oliver had another 'I know, I'll crack my head on the radiator' moment this morning which has resulted in his most impressive forehead bump to date. Buckets of arnica cream have been applied, but I suspect he'll look abused by the morning.

Had tea with nice friend across the road who is going to step into the breach if I go into labour in the middle of the night. What a star woman...

Other than that, it feels pretty good to be getting on with the New Year in our new town. I still need to work on making some pals, but I have a couple of targets up my sleeve who may be invited for tea. And I'm hoping the antenatal classes which start tomorrow might furnish me with a few phone numbers at least.

Toodle pip for now xx

Chocolate in my veins...

Oh dear. Inevitably I have consumed enough chocolate (and mince pies, Christmas cake and other delicacies) to sink the proverbial ship. The absence of mother-in-law (who is extremely thin and self-disciplined on the food front) may have spurred me on somewhat, although I wasn't exactly restrained when we spent my last pregnant Christmas with the in-laws two years ago...

Basically I'm a greedy cow. The New Year has brought little escape as everyone left us with mountains of cheese, unopened boxes of chocs and half a Christmas cake! Hosting has its advantages...

Anyway, Happy New Year to you all and I hope your Christmases were as jolly as ours. Despite the fact we have no dishwasher and only enough plates and bowls for one sitting, we managed admirably. The turkey wasn't dry, my mum only starting driving me mad after three days (pretty good going) and there were heaps of adoring relatives to entertain O. He loved his presents although we had a comedy moment when I failed miserably to read the assembly instructions correctly for his special present from absent Granny and Grandpa. True to form, I rushed into it and snapped on the 'one-time assembly' wheels - and then realised that I should have fixed on the body of the wretched thing first. To my father's astonishment (and I suspect, amusement) I promptly burst into tears wailing that I'd ruined O's Christmas. As if he cared!

Other than that, we had a pretty emotionally stable time of it. We were knackered by the end, but much cheered by the safe arrival of my best pal's second boy. New Year was chaotic with two friends and their two daughters (and Nick had the shits) but we managed to have fun anyway. I cooked a marvellous curry and actually made it past midnight (by three minutes).

Now the reality of another Benians is starting to really dawn on us! One month to go or thereabouts... the doula search continues and antenatal classes start on Thursday. Appointment with consultant tomorrow.

More soon! (And sorry this is so long!)